As I stand under the warm water of the shower, thoughts race through my head and the sentences flow through my mind like warm syrup over a pancake. I write the most extraordinary posts for this blog there. The most interesting things come to mind, subjects close to my heart originate there and I'm excited. Yes, Yes...sentence after sentence abound... wow, I impress myself. A mad rush ensues as I scramble to get dressed and sit down in front of the computer... only to find the words gone. In a flash, I can't seem to get started. "What was that phrase just running through my mind?" I find myself frozen, staring at this screen! That's what's been happening lately as I struggle to expand this blog. Very frustrating... very disheartening, then I stress out!
Instead of trying to be the most eloquent blog writer out there (that's who I am in the shower... stop laughing!) I am just going to be me because this post does have a purpose! Please take a moment out of your day and read on to help make a difference!
My daughter Alexis has been having a rough time her first year in high school. For those of you who are not familiar with Alexis (AKA Boom Boom or my Boom) you can catch up a bit here, here or most recently here. She does not feel like she fits in. High school is hard for anyone in the best of circumstances; you find yourself reaching pre-adulthood, the best of friends can drift apart, girls meet boys and vice versa. The obsessions over looks start (if they haven't already in Jr High) and the slightest difference or the teeniest of faults becomes HUGE. Teasing takes on a new level even if it only over wearing the wrong brand of shoes or being slightly overweight. Schools do try with the help of anti-bullying campaigns and such, but at the same time, many school teachers and administrators turn a blind eye to it. I've actually heard first hand of an instance where a school official explained that it is best to allow the child to handle the problem(s) on his/her own, "to take the initiative to solve the problem on their own... call it life skills if you will." I call it a "cop out"... how can any adult just ignore the suffering of any living being and call it a lesson in life skills? Really?!? More needs to be done to educate those who are causing the issue... certainly more needs to be done to teach our children to love themselves! Love yourself in order to love others.
I believe this is true for all kids so the realization that my child is different from the others is a very real concern for me!
Boom knows she is truly loved, she is comfortable here at home... able to just BE herself, express herself freely, make mistakes but as she gets older she is fully aware of her differences as she exits our door and steps out into the world. People staring is one of her biggest Pet Peeves. She is fully aware of it and it is upsetting for her. Back to the teacher thing real quick, numerous times I have approached the school about her 'feelings' of being stared at and being made fun of... I am told over and over that "they are not aware of any issues and have not witnessed it firsthand"... MaLarChY! I can assure you that a simple trip to the grocery store or a family dinner out invokes stares, pointing and even laughter from children and adults alike! All it takes is a bit of awareness to your surroundings to be aware of it.
So, the true purpose of this post is an invitation.
See, I need your help as I set out to help Boom embrace her differences and love herself! Heck, I think we could all use a little help in the self esteem area. Do you have any advice to share with us on ways to love, accept and appreciate ourselves a bit more? I am inviting you to Guest Post! I am looking for anyone willing to participate and share words of wisdom, beauty tips and tricks, faith builders. I want you crafters, jewelry makers, hair accessory artists also. What can you dream up to remind us each day to celebrate ourselves? Decor items, wall art, jewelry, inspirational art, etc... anything that can be used, made, or looked at to build self esteem.
If you are interested in contributing to Tiaras and Bowties to uplift the lives of others please leave a comment below or email me privately... I will contact you asap! Together we can make a difference!
Linkin with a purpose here!
Instead of trying to be the most eloquent blog writer out there (that's who I am in the shower... stop laughing!) I am just going to be me because this post does have a purpose! Please take a moment out of your day and read on to help make a difference!
***
My daughter Alexis has been having a rough time her first year in high school. For those of you who are not familiar with Alexis (AKA Boom Boom or my Boom) you can catch up a bit here, here or most recently here. She does not feel like she fits in. High school is hard for anyone in the best of circumstances; you find yourself reaching pre-adulthood, the best of friends can drift apart, girls meet boys and vice versa. The obsessions over looks start (if they haven't already in Jr High) and the slightest difference or the teeniest of faults becomes HUGE. Teasing takes on a new level even if it only over wearing the wrong brand of shoes or being slightly overweight. Schools do try with the help of anti-bullying campaigns and such, but at the same time, many school teachers and administrators turn a blind eye to it. I've actually heard first hand of an instance where a school official explained that it is best to allow the child to handle the problem(s) on his/her own, "to take the initiative to solve the problem on their own... call it life skills if you will." I call it a "cop out"... how can any adult just ignore the suffering of any living being and call it a lesson in life skills? Really?!? More needs to be done to educate those who are causing the issue... certainly more needs to be done to teach our children to love themselves! Love yourself in order to love others.
I believe this is true for all kids so the realization that my child is different from the others is a very real concern for me!
Boom knows she is truly loved, she is comfortable here at home... able to just BE herself, express herself freely, make mistakes but as she gets older she is fully aware of her differences as she exits our door and steps out into the world. People staring is one of her biggest Pet Peeves. She is fully aware of it and it is upsetting for her. Back to the teacher thing real quick, numerous times I have approached the school about her 'feelings' of being stared at and being made fun of... I am told over and over that "they are not aware of any issues and have not witnessed it firsthand"... MaLarChY! I can assure you that a simple trip to the grocery store or a family dinner out invokes stares, pointing and even laughter from children and adults alike! All it takes is a bit of awareness to your surroundings to be aware of it.
So, the true purpose of this post is an invitation.
See, I need your help as I set out to help Boom embrace her differences and love herself! Heck, I think we could all use a little help in the self esteem area. Do you have any advice to share with us on ways to love, accept and appreciate ourselves a bit more? I am inviting you to Guest Post! I am looking for anyone willing to participate and share words of wisdom, beauty tips and tricks, faith builders. I want you crafters, jewelry makers, hair accessory artists also. What can you dream up to remind us each day to celebrate ourselves? Decor items, wall art, jewelry, inspirational art, etc... anything that can be used, made, or looked at to build self esteem.
If you are interested in contributing to Tiaras and Bowties to uplift the lives of others please leave a comment below or email me privately... I will contact you asap! Together we can make a difference!
Linkin with a purpose here!
12 comments:
I've got tears in my eyes reading this. I want to contribute. I have an idea for something that I would love to make for Alexis.
I wish I had an idea of something to make right now but I don't; I'll keep thinking though. I have an idea of how bullying feels; I lived through it, so have both my kids. My son has autism and when he was in 1st grade it was awful because the teachers, despite my best efforts, didn't know how to stop the escalating teasing, his reactions, teasing, reaction. I feel for you and your daughter. Is there anything she's really good at? Art, music, poetry,......? If so, use it! Best to you both!
Janet
poor ladybug. it's got to be so hard. it's heartbreaking that people can be so mean. she seems to have such a tender heart.
did the post idea i sent to you sound like something you'd like to use for this?
I'm so sorry your precious Boom Boom is going through this. My son has also dealt with bullying and being made fun of at school. It's so hard to see your kiddos go through that and even worse when the school doesn't seem to care. I always tell my son... No matter what, don't let them change who you are! Keep being the caring and loving person that you are and don't let them bring you down! I'll be praying both of you.
*Hugs*
~Angela
I have no ideas at this point but will be thinking on it. I was teased and belittled in school because I came from a poor family, so I know a bit how it feels. It must be so heart wrenching for you. My child isn't even 2 yet so we aren't dealing with these issues, but I am now aware that he owns a larger portion of my heart than I do now, and I can't imagine how it would feel to have to send him off day after day to a place that mistreated him and beat him down. My prayers go out for you and your precious daughter. One thing you may remind her, for what ever it is worth, the mean bullies in my old school are now miserable adults. Those they teased that managed to hold on to their sweet spirits throughout are vibrant parts of their communities, with families that care for and cherish one another. The criteria that these kids use to think they are "better" are so often things that just don't matter in the real world. And even if they do become "successful" if they are miserable in their personal relationships, what does it matter?
i understand what you mean about the post in your head but they dont come out the way you planned. I think of many great posts but by the time I sit they are a jumbled mess in my head.
This post puts so many worries to life, my son has down syndrome,he is five and I do my best to have many people know himin our community and school setting. Our school is small and I speak to all grades 1-8th about Ds and other "different abilities" bottom line is everyone is different and treat others with respect. My heart breaks for you, I can only imagine the pain and heartache.
Thank you for posting this. I work with "different" people, those with intellectual disabilities, so I've seen so many hurtful things. I pray things improve for Alexis!
You are such an inspiration, I am now following. I read through your posts about Alexis, I am sure she did meet Jesus, glad she liked him:) I would love to find/think of a way to contribute and will follow up with you if I think of anything. Take Care! Liza
This reply is actually from Kaitlyn.
Hi Boom. I get picked on too. Those kids are just jealous. They think that the teachers like you better, because your are nice and caring. They are jealous of all the love your mommy and daddy and family gives you.
Come check me out.
www.kaitlynskreations.net
Hi mom
I have 3 typical children and 1 ec child. I have to tell you that there are times that the stress and issue that my typical children face are nothing compaired to my ec child. Hold your head high. Things will get better
Hugs and kisses
Tiffanie and Kaitlyn
I wish I had some advice to offer but I just don't.. I just found your blog tonight and read about your daughter.. I think she is BEAUTIFUL!...Both inside and out.. She is a special child but not because of her disabilities, she is special because she is an innocent, a gift from God and you can see this just by looking at her..
What a beautiful post about a beautiful and exceptional child. I struggled with an "invisible" illness which developed at the end of elementary school and resulted in plenty of ridicule through the pre-teen/teenage years because I didn't act like everyone else. Bullying is a vicious cycle, I know my hurt and lacking self-esteem sometimes led me to make snarky comments about other children because I felt it was what I needed to do to "keep up" and "be accepted"- oh how I regret that mindset years later!
just keep encouraging your daughter to share her light with all of those around her, she has so much to offer!
Absolutely beautifully written! You are blessed to have an angel girl. stay the positive,loving mom you are. I promise Boom Boom will be just fine. Having children is a challenge no matter the circumstances.
I will be praying for you and your family.
Loves.
Meegan
Post a Comment