What a week it's been, wondering where I've been? Maybe not but I'll tell you anyway.
Chances are if you are my age {dipping your toes into the 4 Ohhs or older}, you have an aging parent or parents like I do. Perhaps you have a child or know of a child or a parent of a child with some special need as I do. I'm here today to tell you a little story about advocacy.
It's okay to fight for them!
If you don't defend them, chances are no one else will!
If you've been around here for a while you already know my MIL suffers from early to mid Alzheimer's. What you do not know is that my own Father has some memory issues as well. Has had them for quite a while, but he was 'functional', or so we thought. Dad was still driving himself around town and doing his 'thing'. Denial can be a blessing and a curse. I can attest to that!
Last week, Dad's mental status took a BIG change and he was hospitalized. After meeting with several specialists we were informed he had mid to severe Vascular Dementia and was in a Delusional State. I won't go on and on, the dementia I can handle {I pray}, the delusions and frantic agitated behavior basically scared the crapola outta me and my family and is proving a bit harder to cope with.
Keeping it short and sweet, I will tell you that the treatment he received from some of the nurses while there was, for lack of better words, DISGUSTING & VILE! Enough to have me {usually sweet tempered and mild} barge into the lushly decorated {and rarely barged into} Administration Offices to file an official grievance. {yes, apparently you can walk in there}
This is where I stress again to you...
Fight for the rights and care of your loved ones and those around you who are unable to fight for themselves!
Stand up for your loved ones. Your child, your parent, someone else's child, someone else's parent, anyone who is being treated unfairly or cruelly... I beg you to not turn a blind eye. Step up. I'm not saying go all Donkey Kong and go ballistic on 'em, but to calmly assess the situation and take action. Ask questions. Don't like the response you get? Climb the chain of command and keep climbing until you get to the top. Still do not feel like you've accomplished anything? Find the agency that governs them... there are rules and regs for every school, every public or private facility, every business in every state.
No one loves them like you do. No one knows them like you do. Make your voice and opinion known. If it feels wrong, chances are it is. I remember when my daughter was a few weeks old and I was sent home repeatedly from a certain pediatricians office for being a 'paranoid new mother'. I started to question my own sanity at that point, but I knew something was wrong... I just knew it. If the battle between Doctor and Mother did not continue, if I had just given up because they thought I was nuts {it would have been easier for me}, my precious Boom Boom would not be here today!
I'm getting off of my soap box now... not trying to lecture, just wanted to offer some unsolicited advice to whom ever may need it. I'd love to hear from you if you are going through any similar life phases such as a handicapped or special needs child, aging parents... or just issues you'd like to get off your chest. Not for a blog post or anything, just for the support. I'd like to pray for you also... without all of the prayers from fantastic friends this past week I'm not sure how I would have made it through!
Also don't worry, {ha ha} T&B is not going all words and no craft on ya! I will be back again this week with something creative and Oh yeah... a fantastic giveaway too!
Chances are if you are my age {dipping your toes into the 4 Ohhs or older}, you have an aging parent or parents like I do. Perhaps you have a child or know of a child or a parent of a child with some special need as I do. I'm here today to tell you a little story about advocacy.
It's okay to fight for them!
If you don't defend them, chances are no one else will!
If you've been around here for a while you already know my MIL suffers from early to mid Alzheimer's. What you do not know is that my own Father has some memory issues as well. Has had them for quite a while, but he was 'functional', or so we thought. Dad was still driving himself around town and doing his 'thing'. Denial can be a blessing and a curse. I can attest to that!
Last week, Dad's mental status took a BIG change and he was hospitalized. After meeting with several specialists we were informed he had mid to severe Vascular Dementia and was in a Delusional State. I won't go on and on, the dementia I can handle {I pray}, the delusions and frantic agitated behavior basically scared the crapola outta me and my family and is proving a bit harder to cope with.
Keeping it short and sweet, I will tell you that the treatment he received from some of the nurses while there was, for lack of better words, DISGUSTING & VILE! Enough to have me {usually sweet tempered and mild} barge into the lushly decorated {and rarely barged into} Administration Offices to file an official grievance. {yes, apparently you can walk in there}
This is where I stress again to you...
Fight for the rights and care of your loved ones and those around you who are unable to fight for themselves!
Stand up for your loved ones. Your child, your parent, someone else's child, someone else's parent, anyone who is being treated unfairly or cruelly... I beg you to not turn a blind eye. Step up. I'm not saying go all Donkey Kong and go ballistic on 'em, but to calmly assess the situation and take action. Ask questions. Don't like the response you get? Climb the chain of command and keep climbing until you get to the top. Still do not feel like you've accomplished anything? Find the agency that governs them... there are rules and regs for every school, every public or private facility, every business in every state.
No one loves them like you do. No one knows them like you do. Make your voice and opinion known. If it feels wrong, chances are it is. I remember when my daughter was a few weeks old and I was sent home repeatedly from a certain pediatricians office for being a 'paranoid new mother'. I started to question my own sanity at that point, but I knew something was wrong... I just knew it. If the battle between Doctor and Mother did not continue, if I had just given up because they thought I was nuts {it would have been easier for me}, my precious Boom Boom would not be here today!
I'm getting off of my soap box now... not trying to lecture, just wanted to offer some unsolicited advice to whom ever may need it. I'd love to hear from you if you are going through any similar life phases such as a handicapped or special needs child, aging parents... or just issues you'd like to get off your chest. Not for a blog post or anything, just for the support. I'd like to pray for you also... without all of the prayers from fantastic friends this past week I'm not sure how I would have made it through!
Also don't worry, {ha ha} T&B is not going all words and no craft on ya! I will be back again this week with something creative and Oh yeah... a fantastic giveaway too!
4 comments:
oh I hear ya! my grandmother has had this exact same battle with memory issues. We were dealing with that when my sister was diagnosed with Chiari malformation and required brain surgery. Brain surgery sure can mess with your brain!! (duh) and there are LOTS of times I have be that person on that soap box screaming at a Dr or caretaker because she can't. The trick is to scream at that Dr/caretaker who is less than perfect, while hugging and crying with that loved one. I know it gets old after a while, but don't stop fighting for their rights. I know I won't . -Jeannine www.craftingforchiari.blogspot.com
Very interesting to find your post, as I'm sitting here in my 82 year old Mother's hospital room, after spending all day yesterday in the ER with her and finally having received the help she needed. The fact being that her Practitioner sent her home on Tuesday with a diagnosis of the flu, ordered to rest and drink plenty of fluids. Well, long story short she did not have the flu, it was a much more serious issue and if we hadn't taken matters into our own hands and said "to heck with what the Practitioner said" she would be in much worse shape. I just feel bad that she had to spend a whole night being so miserable, and if we had just come to the ER in the first place it would have been the best decision. I don' know if this makes sense, but sitting here writing it makes me feel a little better. Thank you! Vicki
what a challenge to deal with such a heart-breaking situation. good for you to stand up for your family. this was linked up to my party last week. it's about this same topic. http://www.farewelloffice.com/?p=2519
Oh wow, that really is awful! I'm so srry you had to first deal with a parent being sick and then second, people that are terrible to the ones you love :)
For some reason I wasn't following your blog...I was always wondering why I never got your feeds...well,I am now!!! Jesh, about time!
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